I CAUGHT A BABY AT 1:00 THIS MORNING

Truly, it would behoove me to study Spanish more.
I went on shift at the hospital yesterday at 8pm. Only one woman in labor, Marina, and many students present so Adrienne and I sat on an empty bed and played a really good game of Scrabble during which I spelled such words as "wonton" "squaw" and "helix". I got all the big money letters and both blanks.
Another woman came in and within an hour she was ready to push and the OB asked Adrienne ot deliver the baby and asked me to stay behind and watch over Marina.
Everyone left the room, so I turned off the lights and let Marina labor in peace. She told me her side was hurting so I applied pressure during contractions. I gave her some water and a piece of candy.
At some point a few students came back in along with a new laboring woman, Gloria. She was 17 and had given birth by cesarean 2 years ago. She was clearly in active labor and was moaning and crying and gripping the metal bedframe. She kept passing out and the technica would wave a cotton ball covered in alcohol under her nose. That really works, by the way.
Gloria also progresses very quickly. At some point the OB, Antonietta, asked if I would like to ATTEND Gloria´s birth. My Spanish is muy mal, so I thought she was asking if I would like to WATCH the birth. I said, "Sure, okay." Then I went back to supporting Marina. They were walking Gloria to the delivery room as I was walking Marina to the bathroom. I was getting Marina back into bed when a nurse poked her head into the door and said, "Clara, rapido!!!" I told Marina I´d be back in a minute and went to watch Goria´s birth.
Antonitta is one of the relatively patient obstetricas. She performs less episiotomies and will allow a few minutes longer before the cord gets cut. And she doesn´t physically pull on the placenta to come out.
So, I walked into the deliveria and everyone was bustling around like crazy. Antonitta pointed to a green doctors surgical gown. I said, "Para ti¨", I thought she needed help putting it on since she was already gloved. She said, "No, para TI!" My brain said "Hmmm." I put the gown on. Then she tossed a pkg of sterile gloves on the table and motioned for me to put them on. And then my brain said, "Wait just a minute..." And then I realized I was about to deliver a baby.
I put on the gloves and everybody kept having to remind me to clasp my hands together so I wouldn´t touch anything unsterile. I was standing between Gloria's legs. She was on the table already in stirrups. She was in between contractions, and the silence felt kinda akward, so I thought I´d introduce myself. SO, I did. She said, "Mucho gusto" and had a really hard contraction with pushing.
A few more contractions and when I reached a finger into her vagina I could feel the head. Antonietta, was explaining things ot the students. I was mentally psyching myself up and breathing very consciously. At some point I farted and everyone giggled and then went on listening to Antonietta.
Gloria had a few more contractions and I could see the top of the baby's head. Antonietta handed me a huge piece of gauze and put it and my hand up to Gloria's perinium. I held pressure there and on the next contraction the baby's head totally crowned and began coming out. Antonitta reached around me and pulled Gloria's vagina around the head, which is a peculiar thing that they do here to speed the delivery of the head. Then all of a sudden the baby slid out into my hands all covered in blood and dark bluish purple. I held the baby up and said "Gloria, es tu bebe!!! Es perfecto." The baby made a bit of a coughing sound. Antonietta asked me to lay the baby on the tiny table covered in green cloth. EVeryone got quiet, listening, and then the baby coughed and began wiggling and crying! Yea! In my excitement I had forgotten to see if the baby was a boy or girl. Antonietta held the baby up with its genitals facing Gloria and said "Es una mujer!!!" Which means "It is a girl". Then she laid her back on the table. I clamped and cut the cord and the baby was whisked away to be weighed and checked.
Very shortly thereafter, I saw the umbilical cord elongate out of Gloria's vagina. The placenta was detaching. At one point I felt it in her vagina and Antonietta asked me to gently pull on the cord to get it out (this is safe if the placenta is already detached). Out is came, steaming. I held it in my hands and twirled it around as some membrane was still inside the vagina. There was one long string of membrane that had not yet come out of the uterus but was still attached ot the placenta. While one of the nurses massaged Gloria´s uterus I gently kept twirling and lowering the placenta and final the string of membrane slipped out. We examined the placenta to make sure all the membranes and cotyledons were intact and present (the uterus can become infected or leak blood if any prt of the placenta is not birthed/removed). Everything looked great and Gloria donated the placenta ot our class for examination. I put it in a tupperware salad container.
Next, Antonitta asked me if I knew how to suture. I said yes, a little. She said that was okay and gave me new gloves. Antonietta sutured internally, horizontal tissue, then vertical, then right under the skin, and then let me do the last to sutures of the actual skin. By this time the lidocaine had worn off and Gloria was moaning and her legs were shaking and my hands were shaking like crazy. Antonietta was very helpful and I got finished as fast as I could and said "pardon" alot.
They brought ina gurney and we all helped Gloria onto it. Then she was wheeled into the next room. I took her blood pressure and the brought in her baby. I handed out candy to everybody and couldn´t stop smiling. Then Adrienne and I packed up and went home. In bed at 3 AM.
Today in class I told this story and everybody gloved up and examined Gloria's placenta.
Cutting Egyptian Mythology class right now to write this. Yea!